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02

Nov

How Girls Get Over Someone

  • Purchase a velour sweatsuit in some obnoxious color under the impression you will just wear it around your apartment, progress to wearing that, and only that, to class for about a week.
  • Make your status some song lyrics you think are subtle, when in reality everyone’s just seeing how long this will persist until they defriend you.
  • Watch Eat, Pray, Love. Check your bank account to see if you could afford to mirror Julia Robert’s lifestyle. Realize you can’t. 
  • Decide you have always wanted a tattoo.
  • Get a haircut. Hate said haircut. Begin to cry about how much you hate your bangs, end up crying about how much you miss him.
  • Start a drinking game with your friends about him. Everytime you say his name, drink. Get drunker quicker than every Twilight drinking game out there.
  • Every song on the radio is about you, about him, about us
  • Hook up with someone. Hook up with someone else. Feel less bad about it. Continue until self esteem is destroyed.
  • Let your yoga pants become your going out clothes. When you eat too much at dinner, fold the top band up. Eat everything, then eat nothing. 
  • Tell your friend’s you want to crush his soul.
  • Feel upset when all of your friends suddenly express their deep seeded dislike for him. 
  • Believe your friends when they say you deserve better / can do better / he’s an asshole. 
  • Buy shoes.
  • Develop a crush on a male friend you have zero actual attraction to.
  • Replace your “Fucking Guys” playlist with, “Fuck Guys”
  • Learn all of the words to Single Ladies. Scream it is your anthem.
  • Begin to drink wine.
  • Tell your friends you don’t want to talk about it. Talk only about it for atleast a month.
  • Re add his number from his Facebook. Then delete it. Then add it. Then delete. Continue until further notice.
  • Make a list of all the things you want to do- start scrapbooking, learn to cook, go running every morning. Do none of these things.
  • Wake up in bed with your computer open to his Facebook. Apparently you decided to go through his senior prom pictures last night. You are also wearing his shirt.
  • Start working out, because you are focusing on yourself now. Just kidding, you want to lose weight and take a million pictures then hope he sees them.
  • Secretly wish you got in some sort of terrible accident where he rushes to the hospital to be by your side and confesses his undying love for you.
  • 11:11 is either wishing he would try to win you back, or wishing he gets hit by a car. 
  • Do everything he disliked- eat your weight in Middle Eastern food, go out on Wednesday nights, add purple streaks to your hair, cry during The Lion King. 
  • Hate every girl he is tagged in Facebook pictures with. Including his sister. 

WHY ARE WE CRAZY LIKE THIS. 

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